thankfull

do you know what is graceful..

have you notice about this word recently,,

frankly speaking, i wanna said that i don't..

i forgot what it feels like to be grateful for what i have now..

life is become more excited when you become number one..

you have the spotlight..people adore you..

it feels great when you can get them all..

but what will happen when you don't get the shine..

the only things you get is losing, low respect and jealousy..

and in the end you've become ambitious and so depressed when you don't get it..

i always think that i have to be number one comparing to someone...

i do care about it much..

maybe some people don't feel like i feel but i feel so depress when i lost..

this is what i felt now..

maybe it's too childish..

in the end i feel like losing my nice personality...

i feel so depress..

i don't like what i feel now...

i'm a grown up girl now so i must be more smart in deciding anything now..

i can't go on by my own heart only but also go by my logical thinking..

maybe i'm not perfect.. i'm a slow thinker..i'm a slow decider..

but all i can do now is i will do my best for every step that i make..

not because i compare it to others but because i love doing it..

i love doing it so i mustn't think people will do the same way..

from now on, i release you my bad effect comparison..

with you i always live in miserable..

live in jealousy and live in sadness..

i don't want to be that person anymore..

but i also can't live without you my comparison because you're like some energy that can keep me up do all things..so, i will turn you from bad to nice effect...

hmm,, in the future i will find my self learning all new nice effect..

i just want to be my self...

someone that likes to smile..

someone that think world is amazing as it seems..

someone that can laugh out loud for something..

someone that free..

someone that has high expectation of life..

someone that always think positive..

someone that so energetic to do everything..

hmm,, i just love being me..

HAVE A GOOD DAY AND SMILE!!!

sparkling grey...

what i wear:

- cotton dots body con -

- mango sparkling grey cardigan -

- zara black shoes and bow bag-

- unbranded necklace -

PS: snap shoot...

BHD Blast with family...

having great dinner with my family...

lovely...

at trattoria

at home

meet my rabbit fellas!!!

birthday blast!!!

today is my birthday!!!

and i celebrate it with my besties...jojoba!!!

they give me a sweet sweet surprises that i never expected before..

i feel being touch by them..

thank's so much my lovely friends..

so here's the surprise..

thanks so much guys...

LOVE U MUCH!!

reunited..

it's been a long time that we haven't met..

i miss my jojoba and now we're back although not all the member is present but i just love being around them..

we're going to Cia's Wedding...

she's one of my friend's cousin that we also recognize..

so they invited us...

"HAVE A WONDERFUL JOURNEY IN YOUR WEDDING LIFE, CIA"

but FYI, we were late..

so when we arrived there the party has over...

*so usual thing we did..

ONROP!!!!

ONROP is one of the theater musical that held in jakarta...

this musical has been very popular among all people; kids, teen, youth, and even old people..

this musical is about love..but the unique things about this story because they had bring the hot issue that has happen in Indonesia nowadays...

like the criminal Gayus Tambunan and also Barrack Obama..

this typical of theater is really brave to show how they feel about government and lifestyle nowadays..

i love ONROP so much...

because it's full of entertaining and also reality that make us see how Indonesia look like in the next 2020!!!

I watched ONROP with nana and also meet some friends in the theater..

love today!!!

what i wear:

- cotton on sailor body con -

-G2000 blue boyfriend shirt -

- topshop white plaid shoes -

- forever 21 long love necklace -

-unbranded bag -

meet my new friend...

have i told you that i had enter ESMOD short course major basic fashion design???

well,, i just wanna show you a bit of my new friend in ESMOD...

and also my lecture...

this is me and the girls in the class..

and this one is my lecture...Ka Arif..

what a nice people and what a talented person..

i learn much from them..

a letter for them...

i used to have my best best friends..

the one that i thought that they are my true soul mate friendship ever..

sometimes i always think that i don't need one man to stand by my side cause i have them all..

they gave me love and warmth that is not easy to get it..

i always thought that they are my family and my home to share everything with..

but it turn out, it is not like i wanted it to be..

job, business, limited of time, no contact makes me think that we're far now..

i feel we're not closed like we used to be..

sometimes, it's so hard to meet with them..

i missed them so bad actually and i loved them so much..

but life is not easy like what i think..

they have their own business that i have to understand it..

and in the end, i just feel alone..

I've just realized that we live alone in this big big world..

i used to think that I'm not alone because i always have them that be there for me 24/7 but now it's so hard to meet them..

and it makes my feelings for them are just lost.. i just feel flat..

the sad part is now I'm thinking that maybe the person who will be your closed friend is boyfriend..

i hate to admit it actually because i always think my life is just perfect cause i have them..

but now, everything has change..

the more adult a person is, the more understanding person must have..that's what people keep telling me..

but the question is if we keep understand the situation, in the end i just keep lost the moment..

i really want everything back as it was to be..

we can just chat and laugh all the way without thinking of anything..

i really love them so much..really...

i always think that i never be alone cause i have them but now i feel like I'm walking by my self in this big big world..it's so hard and not fun anymore..

i missed them and i missed having a great laugh with them...

another BHD!!!

i called this november is "november fat"

because there still be a lot of birthday are awaiting on this months..

5 birthday in one month...

hmm,,that's fat!!

and today is my sister in law birthday..

have a great day people!!!

adios..