Sunday, November 28, 2010


do you know what is graceful..
have you notice about this word recently,,

frankly speaking, i wanna said that i don't..
i forgot what it feels like to be grateful for what i have now..

life is become more excited when you become number one..
you have the spotlight..people adore you..
it feels great when you can get them all..
but what will happen when you don't get the shine..
the only things you get is losing, low respect and jealousy..
and in the end you've become ambitious and so depressed when you don't get it..

i always think that i have to be number one comparing to someone...
i do care about it much..
maybe some people don't feel like i feel but i feel so depress when i lost..
this is what i felt now..
maybe it's too childish..
in the end i feel like losing my nice personality...
i feel so depress..
i don't like what i feel now...
i'm a grown up girl now so i must be more smart in deciding anything now..
i can't go on by my own heart only but also go by my logical thinking..
maybe i'm not perfect.. i'm a slow thinker..i'm a slow decider..
but all i can do now is i will do my best for every step that i make..
not because i compare it to others but because i love doing it..
i love doing it so i mustn't think people will do the same way..

from now on, i release you my bad effect comparison..
with you i always live in miserable..
live in jealousy and live in sadness..
i don't want to be that person anymore..
but i also can't live without you my comparison because you're like some energy that can keep me up do all, i will turn you from bad to nice effect...
hmm,, in the future i will find my self learning all new nice effect..

i just want to be my self...
someone that likes to smile..
someone that think world is amazing as it seems..
someone that can laugh out loud for something..
someone that free..
someone that has high expectation of life..
someone that always think positive..
someone that so energetic to do everything..
hmm,, i just love being me..