thankfull

do you know what is graceful..

have you notice about this word recently,,

frankly speaking, i wanna said that i don't..

i forgot what it feels like to be grateful for what i have now..

life is become more excited when you become number one..

you have the spotlight..people adore you..

it feels great when you can get them all..

but what will happen when you don't get the shine..

the only things you get is losing, low respect and jealousy..

and in the end you've become ambitious and so depressed when you don't get it..

i always think that i have to be number one comparing to someone...

i do care about it much..

maybe some people don't feel like i feel but i feel so depress when i lost..

this is what i felt now..

maybe it's too childish..

in the end i feel like losing my nice personality...

i feel so depress..

i don't like what i feel now...

i'm a grown up girl now so i must be more smart in deciding anything now..

i can't go on by my own heart only but also go by my logical thinking..

maybe i'm not perfect.. i'm a slow thinker..i'm a slow decider..

but all i can do now is i will do my best for every step that i make..

not because i compare it to others but because i love doing it..

i love doing it so i mustn't think people will do the same way..

from now on, i release you my bad effect comparison..

with you i always live in miserable..

live in jealousy and live in sadness..

i don't want to be that person anymore..

but i also can't live without you my comparison because you're like some energy that can keep me up do all things..so, i will turn you from bad to nice effect...

hmm,, in the future i will find my self learning all new nice effect..

i just want to be my self...

someone that likes to smile..

someone that think world is amazing as it seems..

someone that can laugh out loud for something..

someone that free..

someone that has high expectation of life..

someone that always think positive..

someone that so energetic to do everything..

hmm,, i just love being me..

HAVE A GOOD DAY AND SMILE!!!

proud being indonesian!!!

today is Indonesia independence day..

has been 65 years since we declared our freedom - free from monopoly-

thanks to all the fighter that had tried hard to make the freedom happened..

I'm so proud as Indonesian citizen even though many crimes happens here, traffic jam everywhere, races sometimes happens here.. but i love this country with all the negative side and the positive side of it..

maybe as an Indonesian i don't do much for this country but i will do what ever i can to make others also proud of being Indonesian like me.. for example i support brand local, i like inspiring Indonesia song, i like Indonesia art..

i adore Indonesia traditional!!! i love and proud of all the Indonesia culture..

the people so creative, so friendly but yet must struggle hard to live in this country..

i love everything about Indonesia..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY INDONESIA!!!

just let it floww..

i learnt today if what ever you want or pray never come to reality no matter how hard you tried..

it's not because you will not gonna have it but mostly it because it's not the right time for you to have it or maybe because there's other plan that more suitable for you awaiting in front of you..

so learn to be patient and try to accept the reality..

big girl try to learn even though it's not that easy but at least you always learn from the mistaken and also never forget to pray because all you want to do in life works as His will..

I LOVE YOU JESUS!!!

full of inspiration!!!

Tonight, i watched the show in one of the TV station in Indonesia

and they remind me of my dreams..

Remind me that to reach all your dreams is not that easy..

There will be difficulties that wait for you in front to reach your dreams..

I almost forgot that what i have now is not what i earn my self..

but it's all belongs to my parents and i feel so comfortably using their facilities..

I enter the comfort zone!!

It's not good!!!

Because i have lots of dreams that i believe i can reach em if i never give up and never forgot what i want to reach..

I feel so pity cause i almost forgot my dreams..

It's so sad actually cause i live to fulfill my dreams..

My dreams is the air of my life..

I can't live without dreaming..

Dreaming is good and free..

That's why make your dreams high as high as you want cause nobody will blame you for having a big dreams..but also don't forget when u passing the road to reach the dreams there will be lots of difficulties that can make you give up and also make you forget what the purpose of your living (dreams)..

Reaching your dreams is not easy especially environment will also infected you to the goals..

ego and self minded that will drown you to the place that you even don't want to move cause you think what you do for now is the rite thing but trust me.. you have to listen more than talk.. that's why lord giving us one mouth and two ears so that we can listen more.. listen to others critics to improve your own skill..

The purpose of listening other's critics is not to let you down and make you a turn back to others but its a challenge that can make you even stronger and be ready to reach your goal..

I have a dreams.. and my dreams not small..

It's big dreams..

That's why the difficulties that i will face is big also..

I probably ever give up once but i will take that as a lesson for me..

Expensive experiences that can make me good enough to reach my dreams..

Believe in you self is the important key..

That's why from now i have to focus on my dreams..

Can't forget how important my dream is and also i can't lose my way to go there..

hope it helps you fellas!!!

defying gravity

"Defying Gravity"
(feat. Lea Michele, Chris Colfer)

Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes... and leap!

It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I am defying gravity
And you wont bring me down!

I'm through accepting limits
'cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost!

I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you wont bring me down!

I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you won't bring me down!
bring me down!
ohh ohhh ohhhh!

source: from here!!

i found that this song is similar to what i do everyday..
i always try to do the best for every decision that i make..
maybe sometimes i felt down because all i want not working like what i expected..
but can't keep regret my decision cause i have to live it and "just do the best"..


FOR SURE!!
don't give up when you're doing something..
do it until you finished it..
because when you give up, you might lose the experiences and the lesson of life that can add your personality and knowledge.. it might change the future of your life..


well, that's what i do when i got the problems on the decision i make
also, that's what i think of every chances that come to me everyday..



hope it's inspired y'all!!!

jojobaaaaa!!! never get enough of you...

i always said that jojoba is my medicine..
they're my medicine to normalize all the toxin inside my body..
they're also like air that i always needed whenever i breath..
that's why i always need you,,jojoba..

















LOL!!!

my next fave books..

picture from here..

i fall in love with this books.. "A million little pieces" ...
every quotes that is said in the books related to me..
so, I'm gonna buy this books..

i know this books from my friend , neyney..
and i feel glad cause she told me about this inspiring books..

here let me show you some quotes that i got from the web..

"When I see you, the World stops. It stops and all that exists for me is you and my eyes staring at you. There's nothing else. No noise, no other people, no thoughts or worries, no yesterday, no tomorrow. The World just stops, and it is a beautiful place, and there is only you."


"I close my eyes and I let my body shut itself down and I let my mind wander. It wanders to a familiar place. A place I don’t talk about or acknowledge exists. A place where there is only me. A place that I hate. I am alone. Alone here and alone in the world. Alone in my heart and alone in my mind. Alone everywhere, all the time, for as long as I can remember. Alone with my Family, alone with my friends, alone in a Room full of People. Alone when I wake, alone through each awful day, alone when I finally meet the blackness. I am alone in my horror. Alone in my horror. I don’t want to be alone. I have never wanted to be alone. I fucking hate it. I hate that I have no one to talk to, I hate that I have no one to call, I hate that I have no one to hold my hand, hug me, tell me everything is going to be all right. I hate that I have no one to share my hopes and dreams with, I hate that I no longer have any hopes or dreams, I hate that I have no one to tell me to hold on, that I can find them again. I hate that when I scream, and I scream bloody murder, that I am screaming into emptiness. I hate that there is no one to hear my scream and that there is no one to help me learn how to stop screaming. . . More than anything, all I have ever wanted is to be close to someone. More than anything, all I have ever wanted is to feel as if I wasn’t alone."


those are so me..


..i heart you..

not as though as you think..

I smile but actually i feel sad inside..
I fight all problems but my heart is fragile..
I'm so busy but actually i just hide my loneliness..
I can do everything by myself cause actually i don't have someone to rely on..

Every superwomen often makes the outside look strong but actually inside her heart is fragile..
this is to protect herself not to get hurt and not to let others underestimate or feel pity on her..
but actually deep down in her heart, every superwomen need a hero to protect and loving her..

they just afraid to admit it..


pilot need co-pilot to drive the plane..
and so is in life..

we need someone to accompany us to live the life..
that's why people can't live by himself..
they need partner..


//by moi//


PS: mellowness come..

we are young and we are golden..

Have you ever thought that you're too fat or too thin?
Your skin is too black..
Your hair is too messy..
You feel you're too short or many pimples..
or Have you thought that you wanna learn something but lots of thinking come up on your mind..
You wanna go somewhere but no car..
You wanna have lots of money so you can shop..
or, even you wanna have a boyfriend..

Well, i can say that there is no problems with the solve..
So, just solve the problems..you don't have too much thinking..
cause if you like then you just go for it!!
And don't just think the problem but think the solution..
don't just stuck with the problem..
I believe that every problems have a solution..

For example, if you think you are fat then you have to diet..
If you think you have many pimples then go to the doctor to ask the advise..
and if you think that you want to learn fashion (like me) then just go for it!!
Don't waste your time by keep thinking the problems..
If you think you want have money then find a job!!
Don't just stuck there and keep complaining..

FYI, I am planning person.. if my laziness comes i always try to be positive by planning my future..
i always make a plan for my future cause when you know the plan, you know which direction to go to..
I love doing that because it makes my brain more energetic and positive..
There will be no more laziness cause if I'd still doing that, I won't be able to pass all the plan..
and also to reach my dream..

We're still young!! we should do what we want!! don't make yourself regret in the future by not doing something when you are young..
Like Mika said, " we are golden" and we're still young..
Dream high and make yourself qualify for it!!
Be positive and never give up!!
Find solution for all your problems..

PS: I learn this from someone that has influence me this recently..and I'm glad i know you..

good book for good person..

"it's not how good you are, it's how good you want to be"

this book is going to be my bible for all my life..
i love this book so much!!!
after reading it, this book just giving more energy to achieve what i want in my life..

I've got a lot of inspiring word here..
such as,,

" Nearly all rich and powerful people are not notably talented, educated, charming or good looking. They become rich and powerful by wanting to be rich and powerful. Your vision of where or who you want to be is the greatest asset you have. Without having a goal it's difficult to score"

"You can achieve the unachievable. Nothing is impossible."

"she didn't compare herself with George Michael or Maria Carey, rather she saw the fame of the Persil Automatic as her yardstick. " - Victoria Beckham-

"Have you noticed how the cleverest people at school are not those who make it in life?"

"It is quite easy to get approval if we ask enough people, or if we ask those who are likely to tell us what we want to hear. The likehood is that they will say nice things rather than be too critical. Also, we tend to edit out the bad so that we hear only what we want to hear."

"Do not covet your ideas. Gives away everything you know, and more will come back to you."

and many more...

i just love this book soo much..give me so much positive energy..

c'mon read it..

yeah,,,i'm back!!!

hello guys, do you miss me already?? i hope you are!!
sorry for not updating anything recently
but start now i will totally post everything...

i have plenty of plans that i will do for the rest of my life..
and i will tell you about it!! i will make my life more interested!!!
will make my day busy!! work work work...let my brain works!!

so, are you ready to rock the world with me? well, i guess you are!!
i will make it works..no more laziness..

so,, here i am..I'm back!! yay!!!

meanwhile, i came here for you all from delivery post..
so this is me!!



have a great day!! ^^